How do you avoid men who lack the gift-giving gene?

August 29, 2008

Dale Perelman, a freelance consultant, has more than 35 years of executive actual observation in the jewelry industry. A former president of both Jewelers of America and the Diamond Council of America, he is a Gemological Institute of America graduate gemologist and a certified appraiser.

By Dale Perelman

Gift-giving is not a science—it’s any art. Unfortunately, we males seem genetically incapable of properly giving gifts. My life might center on golf or the latest technology, while my wife is more into “Let’s talk”—which usually means I’d better listen—to what Oprah says or “How do I look?” Even I know the answer to that one.

The mumbled or fumbled “Here, this is for you” handoff just won’t make it in the world of women, where love and emotion are superior. To offer a gift properly, the masculine must set aside his virility and find his feminine side.

When I wait on a man, usually some lost soul seeking assistance in the alien environment of ladies’ pretty things, I essay to help him select reasonable the right token, and together we strategize on the cleverness of sacrifice the present in the most romantic fashion possible. How the gift is presented is every bit as important as the jewelry itself.

To do my job properly, I introduce myself to the client and hopefully get on a first-name basis. Everyone knows it is easier to sell to a friend than to a stranger, and the best salespeople learn to make friends quickly.

Next, I uncover the reason for the gift. The occasion is a critical piece of information. Only then can I work on what type of gift my new client would like.

Once the male customer settles on the appropriate concept for the person and the occasion, I ask how he plans to give the gift. Most men have no clue, and this is the point where I can create a lifetime friend and customer.

Depending on what the gift is, I review the strategy of gift-giving from the proper wrapping to the exact words to be used. Remember Edmond Rostand’s story of Cyrano de Bergerac, who won over the beautiful Roxanne with his words rather than his looks?

As an illustration, here is how I might help a man give the ever-popular Journey necklace with its intimation of enduring love. As a natural add-on, I would suggest that a “Forever Rose,” a perfect flower dipped in gold, be placed on the table at a fine chop-house to signify the first meeting. The man must be cued to say words like, “This rose will always remind me of the first night we met.”

During dinner, he can toast the bliss of the moment by a split of champagne in an ice bucket. Finally, when it’s time for dessert, the tray would bring over the piece de resistance, a beautifully wrapped Journey necklace in a monogrammed jewelry box signifying the man’s intention to cement the couple’s affection forever. The production may require a prior trip to the restaurant, but the results will have existence worth the effort.

This is how a gift should have being given—with all the love and respect warranted by the occasion. If you can help your purchaser present his gift in an aura of love and romance, he will make a lifetime memory for himself and his loved one, and you behest become a customer for life.

Editor’s note: This story pristine appeared in the July 2008 print impression of National Jeweler.